READING YOU

I was reading u as i sat on the bus home . Every word that trickeld from ur pen to the paper was stolen ,as if from my own pocket. It was as if you had just decided to reach into me and take it all out . I want you in my warm embrace . Not out of bodily lust or that i think of you as my soulmate . But out of onenesss that I acheived with you through your words and those sketches that I bet you hid from others for as long as you could ,before they came pouring out of you.I read you as I read myself,with the same love and conviction.
I try not to fall asleep on such long journeys .I live a shockingly long distance from everywhere. I am awake most of the time ,reading or looking around like windsheild wipers, taking everything in. But you ...you are lovely..with your poison smile and half closed gary brown eyes. I have watched you draw those sketches..bent over your table. Seen u look at people as you hardly speak. I walk past the obscene buildings in C.P ...the rooftop revolving restaurants, the garish bars , the endless books on the pavement and the 50 rupee shirts, through several subways ,each equally dirty and over crowded...but never did I ever think of you there . A person just like me and yet so different in every concievable manner . But you do exist . I hold the proof of your life in my hands , and the idea of you makes me sick .
I can only see you when my eyes are shut ...when the broken bus window lets the cold air strike my face with amazing strenght and when , one day out of the blue i will fall asleep .